The "Yes, I Can" Child

GREAT BOOK: The Family ADHD Solution

 

Dr. Mark Bertin did an excellent job providing understanding about ADHD and giving simple, ongoing solutions for families to work together to create a healthy, whole environment. I would highly recommend The Family ADHD Solution to any and all who have ADHD or are working with families trying to deal with the stress factors that come along with it. You will be able to start implementing steps immediately to gain a better, loving connection as a family and make long term progress as you consistently implement his suggested action steps.

Buy it now at Amazon.

"The Saving Seed", A Must Read to Teach Kids About Finances

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ashley Parks hits home in her new book, "The Saving Seed". She's explains why our youth have difficulty managing finances as they move into adulthood. She digs deep into the root issues of why families have such difficulties with money management and how to make immediate positive changes.

"The Saving Seed" has such great wisdom to allow transformation causing long term effect for financial stability. I believe every parent and educator of our youth should have a copy of this book and use the principles daily.

Ashley Parks is excellent at providing simple guidelines and actions steps to take no matter how much you're in debt or not. She has a passion to reach families to learn how vital managing finances is in preparing our children for the "real world".

In these economic times this is a must read book. Buy it NOW and begin equipping your children for future financial stability.

My Hallmark Moment with Dad this Christmas

As I travel and work with families I try my best to always remind parents to consider the legacy they are leaving behind for their child. One of the niche areas I am called upon by other colleagues to teach about is character building. I believe if you build healthy, confident self-esteem in your child it is the greatest gift you can give them. I know it's not easy. It's takes consistency and discipline. It requires accountability at each level of maturity. It may seem at times like you're climbing the biggest mountain of your lifetime, but when you reach the top and you see the horizon, oh it is wonderful! Imagine the character of honesty, integrity, compassion, and self-discipline your daughter carries with her as she moves forward into adulthood?

My Dad was tough on me at times as a child. He pushed me to the next level. Always challenged me to go the extra mile. Today, I can appreciate those principles he instilled in me probably more than he realizes. As an example my Dad requires the same of himself as he did of me. He takes great pride in his work and isn't satisfied until he feels it's done "just right".

As I opened my Christmas card this year from my Dad it truly was a Hallmark moment. I cried tears of gratitude. The card read...

Daughter,

There are many gifts

that I wish for you at Christmas.

I'd like to give you the gift of happiness,

but the path that leads you there is one

you have to find on your own.

I'd like to give you the gift of wisdom,

but that's something only years of

experience can bring.

I'd like to give you the gift of success,

but that's something

that only has true value

if it's earned.

But there's one gift

I can give you this Christmas

that will always be with you --

and that's the love

of a proud parents heart.

Merry Christmas

Love,

Dad

 

I might not have understood everything he was teaching me way back when. There were times when I walked away crying like any daughter does with her Dad. There were times when I screamed at him, "you just don't get it." But now because of who he is and the relationship we have I can appreciate all those vital principles he's taught me that's played a big part of who I am today. Thank you Papa for your constant love and support and especially for instilling good character.

As a parent you might be feeling overwhelmed or frustrated during this time when dealing with a specific up hill battle. I urge you to keep persevering. Take that next step to keep consistency. Keep setting the example of integrity. Stand firm on what's right even when experiencing rebellion, but do it with LOVE. Wrap your arms around your child, tell them you love them, and remain steadfast in accountability. In doing so your legacy will be tremendous!

No matter how hard it seemed to me as a child as I was growing and maturing I always knew my Dad loved me and was dedicated to his children.  He had my best interest at heart and showed it by his investment of time with me as I grew. As we celebrate Christmas and start a new year I hope you gain a stronger more loving, connection with your child that leaves a lasting legacy.

It's FREE to attend! Join 14 Experts at the HeartWise Parent Telesummit starting January 3rd

Raising Great Kids: A Heartwise™ Telesummit to Help Parents & Professionals Learn Best Kid-Care Practices for Health, Emotions, Discipline and Technology

Two parenting authors, Dr. Caron Goode and Dr. Minette Riordan, have organized a virtual conference offering12 hours of free training for people who raising and caring for children.

The excitement is building for a January, 2012 free GLOBAL virtual conference to kick off the grand opening of HeartWiseParent.com and empower parents and professionals to learn the latest how-tos for easy birthing, gluten-free meals, nutritious eating, fostering emotional intelligence, managing technology and children, preventing cyber bullying, and maintaining loving discipline through values, responsiveness and boundaries.

The purpose of this telesummit is to INSPIRE, INFORM, AND INFLUENCE parents, coaches, counselors, caregivers, educators, teachers, and grandparents about the best practices for raising great families.  Taking place in January, 2012, the virtual presentations are made on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday each week starting January 3rd through January 27th, 2012 @ 1 PM CT. Each week of January offers a hot topic and refreshing information, allowing parents to breathe easy when they hear about new science, health, and strategies for discipline.

Week 1 – Health & Fitness

Week 2 – Emotional Intelligence

Week 3 – Discipline

Week 4 – Kids & Technology

There will be a panel of 15 experts who will speak about the topics that parents and professionals are buzzing about: Safe birthing options, gluten free diets, nutritious eating, strategies for helping kids learn emotional social skills and what discipline is most effective, as well as nurturing. We won’t leave you wondering what to do about the questions of kids’ time on the computer and the topic of cyber bullying. What a treasure trove of practical and inspiring information for parents, educators, caregivers, nannies, coaches, and family members.

The virtual online event will be held all four Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays in January 2012. Go to HeartWiseParent.com and enter your email address to get more information and a reminder about the event.

Here is the lineup of speakers and topics for the virtual conference:

Week One:  Health and Fitness

Tuesday, January 3, 2012, 1 PM CT – The Path to Safer, Easier Births – Dr. Jeanne Ohm believes that “raising children” begins at conception and includes our state of being in pregnancy and birth. In this session, Dr. Ohm will discuss the state of birth today and how to empower women to make informed choices for conscious birthing. She is Executive Director of the ICPA and Chief Editor of Pathways to Family Wellness magazine. www.icpa4kids.org

Thursday, January 5, 2012, 1 PM CT – Staying Sane While Cooking for Varied Needs – Debbie Johnson best-selling author of Think Yourself Thin also wrote a “Natural Recipe” Column for The Edge Life Magazine. These recipes came about due to Debbie’s own personal health challenges. Do you have vegan teens, a diabetic family member, and a gluten-intolerant child? To cook just one meal, one dessert and everyone can add what they need. Discover the simplicity of flexible recipes and “add-ons” from the former executive chef of her own gluten-free, diabetic-friendly, allergy-friendly, vegan to meat restaurant. http://www.glutenfreefun.com

Friday, January 6, 2011, 1 PM CT – Synchronize with the Season… Winter into Spring Medicine: REST, RESTORE, REVITALIZE! – Dr. Jeanette Wolfe shares how to synchronize your children & families with their natural, optimal rhythms for health & harmony. She’ll cover seasonal foods, supplements & practices to support your family’s vibrant energy with seasonal, natural wellness. Dr. Jeanette Wolfe is a Naturopathic Doctor, Intuitive Counselor, currently works with medical institutions, schools, corporations & families & children to empower all who seek her out to heal emotionally, physically & spiritually! www.planetapothecary.com

Week Two:  Emotional Intelligence

Tuesday, January 10, 2012, 1 PM CT – What Does Emotional Intelligence Have To Do With Children’s Happiness & Success? Everything! – Korrel Kanoy shares that not all children have the aptitude for superior academic performance, a superstar athlete, or to excel in the arts. But, all children can be taught emotional intelligence skills, which significantly enhance their happiness and social and academic success. Korrel he has been a college professor for over 30 years and published Annie’s Lost Hat (available from amazon.com), a picture book for children that teaches emotional intelligence lessons through the story.   http://kidsemotionalintelligence.com

Thursday, January 12, 2012, 1 PM CT – What Are The 5 Steps You Use to Emotion Coach Parents? – Keyuri Joshi “retired” from nursing to be a stay at home mom. As her only child grew, she turned her passion of championing others as a Life and Parenting Coach, and an Emotional Intelligence Coach. Of vital importance to Keyuri is to teach parents how to build emotional intelligence skills in their children. Research proves that kids who are raised by emotion coaching parents are on a completely different trajectory than children of other parents. www.ontheballparent.com

Thursday, January 12, 2012, 1:30 PM CT – Giving From the Overflow - Cassandra Arnold’s mission as an ACPI Certified Parenting Coach is to teach what she has learned as a parent, proprietor of a childcare center, and facilitator of parenting partnership support groups. In this presentation, you will learn what it means to give from the overflow when parents feel continual tension between satisfying their needs and satisfying their children’s needs. There does not have to be conflict. We forget that you are the greatest gift you can ever give to your child — a satisfied, happy you. That’s giving from the overflow.

Friday, January 13, 2012, 1 PM CT- A Research Based Approach to Bullying – Reduce the Effects by Understanding the Causes – Astrid Witt is a sought after speaker for schools and parent organizations, offering a research based perspective on how the brain learns and what consequences this should have for our schools. She notes that bullying is constantly on the rise and mandatory anti-bullying programs not only fail to bring results, but rather contribute to the problem. You will learn why anti-bullying doesn’t work, how to stop bullying, and the fundamental difference of helping victims vs. empowering victims, discernment between bullying and criminal behavior and more. WhatTheExpertsKnow.com

Week Three:  Discipline

Tuesday, January 17, 2012, 1 PM CT – Secrets to Successful Discipline – Debbie Johnson was a highly sought after as a substitute teacher for three years in inner-city school of Phoenix and Denver. Teachers and administrators noticed her skills in getting extremely difficult children to listen, learn and pay attention. Discover the secret of creating the image that will call your family to the highest within each of your loved ones. From understanding the way boys may respond differently than girls to the images that work for all, best-selling author Debbie Johnson will share compassionate communication that works. http://djsuccesstraining.com

Thursday, January 19, 2012, 1 PM CT – Loving Discipline – Chris White, M.D., is a board-certified pediatrician, parent educator, and life coach. He is the director of Essential Parenting and the creator of Loving Discipline and will clarify how parents can help children be clear about their values, self-motivated and self-directed toward their goals, capable of respectful and responsible behaviors on their own. Loving Discipline creates a harmonious household, preserve your child’s dignity, and support them in becoming fully themselves.  Http://www.essentialparenting.com

Thursday, January 19, 2012, 1:30 PM CT – Responding Your Way to Effective Discipline Management – Sharon Egan is passionate about helping parents discover the incredible rewards that effective parenting can bring to a family. Join her to explore if impulsive reactions equate to effective behavior management and explore ways to discipline effectively through responding to your children’s behavior. Through her work as psychotherapist, teacher, parent educator, workshop presenter and speaker and as an ACPI Certified Parenting Coach, Sharon knows how to navigate through the stress, the pain, and the “what now” moments that parents face. [email protected]

Friday January 20, 2012, 1 PM CT – Raising a Values-Centered Family – Dr. Minette Riordan will share how to determine what your own values are, how to model values and how to structure family rules, relationships and discipline around your values. Educate your children to discern what matters to them and how living a values-centered life leads to high self-worth and personal success. Dr. Minette Riordan is the founder of North Texas Kids magazine and is a certified parenting coach as well as trainer for the Academy for Parent Coaching International. She successfully built a multi-media publishing company targeting families in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex.  http://www.NorthTexasKids.com

Friday January 20, 2012, 1:30 PM CT  – Discipline is Not a Dirty Word – Lesa Day  In today's world, "discipline" tends to carry a negative connotation. Thoughts of order, control, and punishment come to mind when asked to define the word in the context of parenting. Although all of those words are part of the definition of discipline it doesn't need to have a negative slant to it. In this  presentation Lesa will share why...

1. discipline is important in a child's growth and development
2. a child thrives with discipline
3. it's critical in building a child's character
4. how to start taking positive action steps immediately.

Lesa Day has been coaching parents in the private sector for over 20 years. With her top selling book in hand, “How to Get Your Child to Say, Yes! I Can! And I Will!” this Atlanta based speaker transforms the hearts and minds of our youth and empowers them to reach their greatest potential. http://www.yesIcanandIwill.com

Week Four:  Kids and Technology

Tuesday, January 24, 2012, 1 PM CT – What Parents Need to Know about Cyber-bullying and How to Prevent It – JP Butler has worked with youth since 2004. He has conducted classroom instruction, workshops, assemblies, trainings, and has personally mentored youth nationwide. Cyber bullying is quickly becoming a very dangerous form of peer abuse. No matter what site you are using, know the signs of cyber bullying, the dangers of cyber bullying, and learn what steps you can take to help prevent a cyber bully from gaining the power! JP provides all-school youth assemblies, school staff trainings, and parent presentations on bullying to help all of his audiences understand why bullying is still a very prevalent issue in today’s society.

http://www.quantumleadershipinc.org

Thursday, January 26, 2012, 1 PM CT – How Today’s Technology is Affecting Children’s Emotions, Creative Abilities and World View – Michael Simonson

With the current use of technology today many children do not need to utilize their own creative abilities. When children are taught to explore and utilize their creative abilities they learn to be in control of their mind and their body. Michael Simonson has been involved with a pilot program at the Hunter School in Rumney, New Hampshire, a school for young boys and girls with ADHD, Asperger’s and related conditions. Adam Mosston, an Emmy-Award winning TV producer who has captured some of the children’s progress on film.www.energeticallysensitivechild.com

Laurie Ferris, as the mother of Zach, has experienced for years the emotional roller coaster and stress of parenting an energetically sensitive child. Laurie began working with Michael Simonson to save her son Zach, ultimately resulting in Laurie getting her son back. He is now off of all medications. Laurie currently works at the Hunter School in Rumney, New Hampshire, a small non-profit therapeutic boarding school that offers holistic and complimentary approaches to helping young children with ADHD, Aspergers and related conditions.  www.energeticallysensitivechild.com

Friday, January 27, 2012, 1 PM CT, Managing Your Family’s Technology Habit – Dr. Polly Dunn asks, “Does your family spend more time communicating online than with each other?” You may not be able to get your kids down to under two hours of screen time a day, but you can work towards reducing their viewing habits to a healthier level. In this presentation you’ll learn the skills you need to decrease your family’s technology use to a reasonable level and increase the quality time that you have to share with each other.

Dr. Polly Dunn is a licensed psychologist, specializing in child clinical psychology. In addition to her work as the Director of the Auburn University Psychological Services Center, Dr. Dunn is a wife and mom of four kids ranging in age from 4 to 14. Dr. Dunn’s blog www.ChildPsychMom.com provides practical and user friendly parenting advice. www.childpsychmom.com

Family members, teachers, parent coaches, consultants, caregivers, parents, nannies, counselors—any heart-centered support persons or service professionals who need help in connecting and disciplining with responsiveness and structure will appreciate the information offered in this free telesummit. Learn how to support children’s resilience and success in living an inspired life.

Go to HeartWiseParent.com and enter your email address to get the call-in information to join this telesummit. Each of the four weeks of content-rich calls will last about 40-60 minutes to allow presentations and answers your questions.

Pre -Teen Shows Geat Leadership to Stop Bullying & Marlo Thomas

I had a lengthy conversation with a Mom today about her son being bullied in school. Mary's son, John is in middle school, very smart, and I would consider him extremely mature for his age. I give high fives to Mary for the way she handled the situation and allowed her son to be a leader and take the action steps himself to stop the bullying. 

So often as a parent you immediately start to take action steps to protect your child. There are times when this is necessary, but if you can help your son or daughter handle the issue themselves it prepares them to deal with the tough issues they are going to eventually have to handle out in the world anyway.

In this case John was being bullied daily by another boy calling him names and challenging him to fight. John started by ignoring him. The bullying didn't stop. This continued on for a couple of weeks and finally John had hit his limit of tolerance. John went to his teacher and told her what was happening, but didn't want her to do anything about it right now. He said he would try and handle the situation himself he just wanted her to be aware of it. That day as the bully started antagonizing John he asked him what it would take for him to stop? The bully challenged him to fight. John asked him what the end result would be if he won? The bully told him if John won he wouldn't bother him anymore. If the bully won he would continue to bully him the rest of the year. There was a birthday event they were both invited to the next day. John told him he would fight if that's what it is going to take for the bullying to stop. They planned the fight the next day before the birthday party since the boy lived next door where the party was being held.

When John got home that afternoon from school he told his Mom all the details of what's been happening and what he has chosen to do to stop the bullying. Mary's first instinct is to stop a fight from happening, but instead of saying much she asked a lot of questions to determine how much John had thought this through. Not only does Mary have a lengthy discussion with him but John'sgrandparents did as well. In the end they were willing to stand by his decision to handle the situation. Many times this takes alot of self-control for a parent to step back and let a child take the lead. But watch what happens...

John arrives at the birthday party to celebrate with his friend and there's no sign of the bully. Some time goes by and there's still a no show. John decides he's still going to tackle this issue and wants to go next door and talk with him. His mom gives him permission to do so but is adamant that John be polite when greeting whoever may answer the door. John knocks on the door and the boy's mom answers. John introduces himself and politely explains to her why he's there to see her son. The boy who's been bullying him was standing by when John arrived but as he explains to the mother what's been happening he ran away to another part of the home. The mother was absolutely shocked to hear this and assured John he wouldn't have to worry about it happening again. She admitted that there were some problems they were dealing with but was very sorry to hear this had been happening. John thanked her for listening and left to go back to the party. Mary had witnessed the entire interaction between John and the boy's Mom. She believed the mother's shock factor was sincere.

As you digest each of the interactions that have occurred in this scenario consider the amazing traits of John's character that can be recognized in this situation. There is...

• Confidence: John had enough confidence to decide he didn't deserve to be bullied and chose to confront the issue.
• Leadership: John handled the situation as a great leader. He attempted to talk and reason with the boy who was bullying him several times.
• Communication: John effectively communicated with the boy and the adults who would need to be concerned about the situation, his Mom, his teacher, and the boy's Mom.
• Integrity: John stood for what was right and followed through on his word.

Your child grows and matures in phenomenal ways as he learns how to effectively deal with these issues. As hard as it might be for you as a parent to hold back to not step in, fix the problem and protect your child you must accept these are real issues being witnessed and/or experienced everyday. The more you allow them to do take this kind of leadership the greater their confidence and ability to work with others grows and matures.

What actions steps can you take to insure your awareness and support your child...

• Keep the lines of communication open so your child feels safe to tell you anything.
• Listen! Truly and sincerely listen to them when he/she chooses to be vulnerable to share what's happening and wants your understanding.
• Help them problem solve about the situation.
• Continue to reinforce your love and support for them.

Communication is a critical aspect of a parent and child relationship when dealing with this issue of bullying. Marlo Thomas is beginning a campaign that will assist parents to better communicate about this issue. Read more about it here: Marlo Thomas' Anti-Bullying Campaign .

The New E-book, Parenting Responsively for Connection is Available!

 
                                                                                                                                                               

Every parent has challenges.

Finding solutions is the key!

 

Whether your challenge is:

 

• Disciplining your child effectively
•  
• Carving out time for yourself
•  
• Parenting a child with special needs
•  
• Academic strategies for a successful school year
• Connecting with your strong-willed child
• Potty training

 

 

 

Parenting Responsively for Connection bring you trusted solutions from the most sought after professional parenting coaches in the world. A collaboration of parenting coaches who are passionate about making a difference. Parenting Responsively provides trusted insight into the most common challenges facing today's parents.

 

 

Not only will you learn effective techniques to establish a strong, loving connection with your child, but you'll read heartfelt stories as coaches share their personal experiences that helped them in nurturing their own children and families they work with as professional coaches.  

This is the book to read!  

Buy the book today to learn how to enrich the connection with your child and read from experts that understand your challenges who will inspire you to the next level.

 

 

 

 

Do You Know Many 10 Year Olds Who Travel for Weeks at a Time Away From Home with a School Choir?

I'm overwhelmed with a sense of respect and admiration for a group of boys dedicated to singing for others  as I consider the extensive time and work that's required for them to succeed.  I'm spending some time in Princeton these days and was privileged to attend a concert of The American Boychoir School at the Princeton University Chapel last night. Wow! Amazing to see these boys that range from 4th -8th grade perform their Christmas concert. Their voices strike chords in your heart as you hear the pitch of their voices and unity of the entire group that allow the audience to experience such fabulous songs. The chapel was packed with people and it was wonderful to enjoy the Christmas spirit with song and readings while involving the audience in certain carols during the concert. It allows one to feel joy and comraderie with others, even strangers one may never see again, to come together and sing to celebrate Christmas.

As I'm viewing the program to follow along during the concert I notice they have songs written in it's original launguage with English written under it. The choir sang the songs in it's original language as well as English. It's good that they did because me not being proficient in any other language except English couldn't have truly appreciated the songs they were singing. Later, after the concert ended as I spoke with parents of these boys I was told they always sing the songs in it's language of origin. Wow, think of the time and dedication these young boys put into each song they sing. Don't we tend to appreciate something even more when we realize how much energy, time, and discipline it takes to create something so beautiful to strike the chords of our heart? And to think that the boys range in age of 10-13 years old. I sat there considering the high percentage of young boys who would rather be playing video games or watching tv and these boys were dedicated to using their gift to spread joy to others.

Before I attended the concert I found out some interesting information about the choir and the school they attend. The students come from various parts of the globe to attend this school. I was blessed to speak at length with one of the young choir members who live right here in Princeton. He's one of the youngest in the choir. I wanted to know what his life was like as a student. His day starts at 6:45 a.m. and when he's not on tour he arrives home about 6:30 p.m. I'm immediately thinking this is almost a 12 hour day for a child who is 11 years old. When he is on tour he might be gone for a week to three weeks at a time. They are partnered with another choir member on each tour bunking in private homes with families who choose to host the choir at each venue of performance. My mind starts swirling with all the different life skills these young boys are learning that have immense value in preparing them for life as an adult.  Such as...

1. adapting to new environments all the time (where they sleep and what they eat)
2. learning about different cultures as they travel
3. learning to work as a team both on and off the stage
4. experiencing new towns and cities
5. responsibility to be proactive in preparing for tours, such as packing essentials, managing time for homework, etc.

Yes, I can hear some parents saying this is way too much to put on a young boy and for some children it would be. My thought is, if a child has found a passion to do something, we as parents and mentors need to encourage and provide opportunities for them to flourish in those areas. In this case this young man is doing just that. I was truly inspired by these boys and they made my Christmas season that much brighter!

Do You Know What Your Teens Texts Mean?

This is a must read article CNN just put out for more understanding on the lingo teens are using for text messages. Also valuable resources on where you can go to find out what their codes mean. A huge eye opener...

CNN article on decoding your kids texts

A Middle School Boy Won't Tell His Grandpa How Many A's He Got Because He Doesn't Want to Take His Money

With many people being affected by the economy today I have pondered the impact it's having on our children. In many ways it might be beneficial to bring households back to simplicty. For parents and children to spend more quality time together, to be outside and enjoy what nature has to offer right in our own backyard, and to appreciate the things money can't buy that could last a lifetime. Such as a Dad and son out practicing baseball because hours have been cut back at work and Dad is home. Or a mom spending time in her daughter's classroom because she has a half day of work now on Wednesdays. Many times this doesn't occurr until situations arise to force us to have the free time to invest in our kids day to day activities. And what about having to say no to getting the latest Wii and the games that go with it because finances need to be watched more closely. I know it is hard for parents to say no, but as the children adjust there's great value in them learning they can still be "happy" without having the latest gadget or game.

I had the chance to hang out with a middle school boy last week and I gotta say he really touched my heart and inspired me. This conversation started while we were in the kitchen making cookies. Chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips and pecans. He tried to convince me the nuts didn't have to be in the cookies and when I asked him why, he said as he's chuckling, "because they're healthy." I said so you don't think any part of this cookie should be healthy? He said, "No, it should just be all junk food to enjoy". We're laughing!

As we're measuring ingredients somehow the conversation moved to betting he was right about something. I believe it was measuring the brown sugar, packing it down into the measuring cup and one of us didn't believe we had enough so we were challenging each other with a bet. You know how it goes, I'll bet you we do have enough or I'll bet you we run out and have to go to the store? As we're kidding around about this betting thing when it came to who won he suddenly says "I don't care if I win the bet to get any money or prize, I'm not even going to tell Papa (his grandfather) how many A's I got because I don't want to take his money."

I froze for a moment to internalize what he just said. I then asked him why he wouldn't be willing to do this? I said, "Your papa gives money to all the grandchildren for each A they get, why shouldn't you be able to get the reward as well?"

He said, "because I know that he's been spending time going to the doctor with his elbow injury and he's going to be having surgery and that's what the money should be used for."

I just wanted to give this young man a great big hug for his tender heart. Instead I paused for a moment as I looked at him and said, that's a great example of why I call you "the man". He smiled.

We finished making cookies, played a few games but I just couldn't stop thinking about this.

The next day we're out shooting some hoop and we're playing "Pig". Since this was still on my mind I decided I was going to ask some more questions. I asked him, tell me something more regarding this conversation we had yesterday about not telling Papa about your A's because you don't want to take his money, how did you come up with this? Have you chatted with Mom or Dad about this? Has there been any discussions at all?

He said, "No I haven't talked with anybody about it. I even told my parents if they wanted to take money out of my saving account to just take it, I don't need it."

My response was "I need to write a story about this. This really shows how caring you are about other people and I don't know many  kids your age that actually would have had this enter their mind. You are an amazing person!"

He just looks at me like it's no big deal.

As we ended our 3rd game of PIG I beat the young man 2 out of 3, which is quite miraculous since I'm only 5'0 tall,  and he's a natural athlete who's quite competitive. Oh and he's taller than me as well by an inch or two. I don't know, maybe he let me win?

I want to hear your experiences about children and how they are responding to the economy. Are you seeing compassion rise up in them to help others? I have seen many stories lately regarding kids determined to help people in Haiti after the earthquake. I think it's wonderful, but what about right in your local communities?

Let me hear your feedback and stories so we can all be inspired?

Parents Ask: Now That I've Messed Up, How Do I Fix It?

I get this question all the time from parents starting off as a joke to add some humor, but there is also sincerity in their question so let's talk about this. First of all we all mess up in every area of our life from time to time so for you to expect that you won't mess up as a parent is totally unrealistic, and hey if you didn't make mistakes then your kids would think they are suppose to be perfect. We can learn from them just as much as we are being role models to our children for them to learn from us.

How many times do you hear people say I wish my child came with an instruction manual? They don't, but even if they did, we wouldn't get the fullness of the relationship because it would be too robotic. Because we are each unique, we offer things to children that nobody else can. I believe the most important question to ask yourself is "Am I connecting with my child?"

It doesn't matter what stage of parenting you're in, whether he's a preschoolers, tween or getting ready to head off to college this is the question, "Am I connecting with my child?" What steps are you making to connect? Is it happening at the dinner table to talk about what's going on in her life? Is there a particular sport that allows you to connect and spend time together? Are there community groups or projects to be involved in together that keeps the connection strong?

If there is strife between you and your child start taking action steps to provide healing in the relationship. Start with apologizing and forgiving. This is critical to keep the relationship healthy. Don't be afraid to share your feelings with your son or daughter. It doesn't have to come across as if there's blame to be put on anybody or that one is being critical of the other. It allows vulnerability for both of you and for the relationship to go to a deeper level of intimacy. It's very important to remember that your child is growing at a rate so fast that so many things are coming at them at once. They are trying to make sense of it all.  In today's society the more authentic we can be with our kids the stronger the connection. When 1 in 6 girls are becoming Moms at the age of 20 today in America and 1 in 4 girls have an STD between the ages of 14 and 19 yrs old the connection you have with your child is critical.

If you are feeling like you've messed it all up and want to fix it start with waking up and make today a new day. You can't change yesterday, but you can change what you're going to do today, tomorrow and next week. Some suggestions might be...

1. Are you taking time to listen to your child about what's happening in his world? Such as with

A. Friends

B. Academics

C. Interests in music and movies

D. Sports

2. Are you encouraging her in her activities? When they are challenged in this area do they feel understood by you when sharing thoughts and feelings?

3. Are you reaching out and giving them a hug, even if they are teenagers and it seems like they are giving you "the hand" like "don't invade my space"?

The encouragement I'd like to give you as a parent is relax, enjoy the journey and invest in the relationship. You're not going to figure it all out. You just need to step out there and be real with your kids and let them know you love them and show by example that you want what's best for them. Your greatest gift you can give them is an example of integrity, honesty, and genuineness that's shows they can trust you.

Let's discuss specific issues you're dealing with at this time, come together and support one another. Please share your stories with me and give me feedback on things you're doing to create a good connection with your child?