A Middle School Boy Won't Tell His Grandpa How Many A's He Got Because He Doesn't Want to Take His Money

With many people being affected by the economy today I have pondered the impact it's having on our children. In many ways it might be beneficial to bring households back to simplicty. For parents and children to spend more quality time together, to be outside and enjoy what nature has to offer right in our own backyard, and to appreciate the things money can't buy that could last a lifetime. Such as a Dad and son out practicing baseball because hours have been cut back at work and Dad is home. Or a mom spending time in her daughter's classroom because she has a half day of work now on Wednesdays. Many times this doesn't occurr until situations arise to force us to have the free time to invest in our kids day to day activities. And what about having to say no to getting the latest Wii and the games that go with it because finances need to be watched more closely. I know it is hard for parents to say no, but as the children adjust there's great value in them learning they can still be "happy" without having the latest gadget or game.

I had the chance to hang out with a middle school boy last week and I gotta say he really touched my heart and inspired me. This conversation started while we were in the kitchen making cookies. Chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips and pecans. He tried to convince me the nuts didn't have to be in the cookies and when I asked him why, he said as he's chuckling, "because they're healthy." I said so you don't think any part of this cookie should be healthy? He said, "No, it should just be all junk food to enjoy". We're laughing!

As we're measuring ingredients somehow the conversation moved to betting he was right about something. I believe it was measuring the brown sugar, packing it down into the measuring cup and one of us didn't believe we had enough so we were challenging each other with a bet. You know how it goes, I'll bet you we do have enough or I'll bet you we run out and have to go to the store? As we're kidding around about this betting thing when it came to who won he suddenly says "I don't care if I win the bet to get any money or prize, I'm not even going to tell Papa (his grandfather) how many A's I got because I don't want to take his money."

I froze for a moment to internalize what he just said. I then asked him why he wouldn't be willing to do this? I said, "Your papa gives money to all the grandchildren for each A they get, why shouldn't you be able to get the reward as well?"

He said, "because I know that he's been spending time going to the doctor with his elbow injury and he's going to be having surgery and that's what the money should be used for."

I just wanted to give this young man a great big hug for his tender heart. Instead I paused for a moment as I looked at him and said, that's a great example of why I call you "the man". He smiled.

We finished making cookies, played a few games but I just couldn't stop thinking about this.

The next day we're out shooting some hoop and we're playing "Pig". Since this was still on my mind I decided I was going to ask some more questions. I asked him, tell me something more regarding this conversation we had yesterday about not telling Papa about your A's because you don't want to take his money, how did you come up with this? Have you chatted with Mom or Dad about this? Has there been any discussions at all?

He said, "No I haven't talked with anybody about it. I even told my parents if they wanted to take money out of my saving account to just take it, I don't need it."

My response was "I need to write a story about this. This really shows how caring you are about other people and I don't know many  kids your age that actually would have had this enter their mind. You are an amazing person!"

He just looks at me like it's no big deal.

As we ended our 3rd game of PIG I beat the young man 2 out of 3, which is quite miraculous since I'm only 5'0 tall,  and he's a natural athlete who's quite competitive. Oh and he's taller than me as well by an inch or two. I don't know, maybe he let me win?

I want to hear your experiences about children and how they are responding to the economy. Are you seeing compassion rise up in them to help others? I have seen many stories lately regarding kids determined to help people in Haiti after the earthquake. I think it's wonderful, but what about right in your local communities?

Let me hear your feedback and stories so we can all be inspired?

Comments

[CoconutPalmDesigns]

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Joanne
- CoconutPalmDesigns

[Swati]

Hi Lesa,

What a fine example of writing and how children are dealing with the recession. Will be reading all the posts here. All the best.
Swati.

[Lesa]

Swati, thank you for your encouragement and I look forward to all your comments and feedback as you look around the site and the different articles. Please share you wisdom?

[Laine D]

Lesa,
Beautiful story, wonderfully shared.

My own 13 year old daughter knows that times are hard for us and constantly offers to pay for things or to share her money. While I encourage her to be open hearted, I worry that there is too much pressure on her but feel it is unfair to reject her kindness constantly. So occasionally I will let her treat us (my other daughter & myself) to candy or another treat. Is this the right way to handle the situation?

[Lesa]

Laine, your daughter seems to have a precious heart of compassion and a desire to give. This is a tremendous gift and yes it can be a balancing act for you as Mom to let her use her gift. I urge you to continue to look at the big picture and ask yourself how can I nurture this gift in a healthy way that creates good habits as she grows and matures.

For example, does she have a certain amount of money that she recieves for an allowance or on birthdays or at Christmas? If so maybe help her in managing that money by putting a certain amount in savings, some to spend at the present moment and some to give to charity or gifts to those she cares about? She can have an envelop for each and when she is inspired to reach out to others and give there's an envelop to take the money and help another person or just give a gift of candy as you mentioned in your post.

I know this has to deeply touch your heart when you see your daughter wanting to give all the time, but know how blessed she will be because we know the sayings we should all remember, "what goes around, comes around", "what you give, you'll get back", "what you sow is what you reap". This is a wonderful gift your daughter has and I'd be giving her a great big hug if I was there right now for all the love she has to give to others. Think about how you can teach her to use the gift wisely so she's creating good habits that can last a lifetime.