I just watched a girls jump roping team perform for our soldiers. My heart was jumping with all kinds of emotions as I watched the girls work in sync together to perform this 10 minute routine. The soldiers were yelling cheers of approval and excitement as they watched these phenomenal girls. This wasn’t a competition. They were there to honor our soldiers and say thank you for their service to the U.S.A.
Watch the video…
Can you imagine the dedication to practice these young ladies had to have to be soooooo great in working this routine. They had to think about the team as a whole and sync together in each move in order to make it work. One individual couldn’t have a mindset that “it’s all about me.”
It got me thinking about what really moves people to cheer, encourage, and give support to others. It usually isn’t about “being the best” as much as it is “doing your best”. Sometimes we can get so caught up in telling our kids that they have to be the best when we should be more concerned about reinforcing them to do their best based on their gifts and talents. Think about the child on a team who is giving it everything she’s got and still not the top player. You feel for this person. You want her to rise to the top. You want her to be recognized. You can’t help cheering for her. You want her to succeed. Am I right?
Think about how often you see people rooting for the “underdogs” when watching anything competitive. Rocky movies, the Karate Kid, The Mighty Ducks or Rudy. Why do we do that? Well I’m of the belief that it’s because of the “heart”. You’ve made a connection and can relate to the person your watching. You see their determination, their setbacks, their willingness to take the next step and you want to see them victorious. It also gives you hope and inspires you to take that next step forward. It gives you that ounce of belief you need to say I’ll try one more time because if they can do it, I can do it. If they go through the pain and succeed, I can too.
So if great effort moves the heart of people to connect more so than being the best shouldn’t this be the focus with our youth today. Why does the child in Manhattan taking violin have to be sitting in the first chair of the orchestra if he’s doing his best and truly enjoying the art of making music with this instrument? Why does the young man playing football receive so much pressure to gain the most yards when those who know him see his passion and willingness to give it all he’s got for the team but doesn’t rank as #1? Why is the girl who’s been taking ballet for 10 years at age 15 pressured to practice everyday for hours on end because others want her to be the “prima ballerina”?
I’m of the belief that if we can focus on teaching our youth to put forth their greatest effort in all they do vs. being #1 they will succeed in all areas of their life rather than feeling like failures. Think about it? A mentality of being number one carries big egos, arrogance, and being self-centered. It establishes a mindset of “it’s all about me”. How are they going to succeed when they start working for companies? When it requires building teams of employees to complete a project? Or even starting their own companies and finding the right talent needed to make the company successful? Can you imagine your child starting in the work force today looking for employment and having an attitude that they are the best at what they do and should get the job? There’s more to it than that. Are they willing to be dedicated to work with others, doing whatever it takes to make the company better? Think about how easy is has been for you to cheer for the underdog? Why? If you were hiring somebody which person would you most likely hire? The one with above average talent with a determination and passion to succeed at the job or the person who has the high credentials that appears arrogant and has possible difficulty working with others?
I know that what I’m saying is not new, but somewhere we’re forgetting this principle. How do I know that? Because of reports that come out with schools moving students around in certain districts to create championship teams. I see parents pressuring their child to do certain activities and practice, practice, practice for the #1 spot so they can boast about it rather than thinking about what their child really wants. How is this going to affect them as they go into adulthood?
I’m urging all of us to think about what we are teaching our children? How are we preparing them for the future? I’ll give you three tips to follow that you can start incorporating into their lives today…
1. What matters most is they are doing their best and give them praise for doing so.
2. How they treat others will determine how well they will function in society no matter what they pursue for a career. Start teaching them these principles now by your example as a parent, caregiver or mentor.
3. Uncover those areas they are gifted in and stir that passion in them with activities, resources, and other individuals who can relate to them.
They are our future leaders and we have a choice in how we mold them to become the wonderful individuals they are called to be. Let’s take responsibility as people who influence them and assist them in their growth by being examples of good character and their greatest supporters.
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